The early 2000’s was the year of those teen comedies about the nerdy guy finally winning the girl. Or Tv shows like the OC where, throughout the course of the season, the nerdy guy became cool and the one to get the girl. I remember them quite fondly.
I’m here to give you some tips on how to escape the dreaded friend zone. You can rejoice because I guarantee that if you use these methods not only will you escape the friend zone, but you will also become a better version of yourself. Someone who doesn’t get friend zoned.
Why Women Put Men in the Friend Zone:
So, now you’re wondering what the key to getting out of the friend zone is? And I wish I could say there was one swift way to do it, but there isn’t. It’s a combination of things. But first I think it is important to understand why women put men in the friend zone. And that is that women genuinely believe men and women can be friends. But I’m not going to facilitate that debate here today.
Another reason why you are put in the friend zone is that you’re too reliable.
That is not a bad way to be, but I’m guessing you give your friend a lot of positive attention because you just enjoy her company. With you being her emotional boyfriend without the physical stuff, she is satisfied emotionally because she has positive male attention. But — and that’s a big but !– because you have such a great friendship, she doesn’t want to jeopardize losing you as a friend. Which is also why you are not physically and romantically together.
Being in the friend zone has its benefits. You are already in your crush’s world. You know what makes her tick and what she wants. Ultimately, you are the best person for the job of being her boyfriend. She just doesn’t know it yet.
In the friend zone, you give girls the attention they want, which allows assholes the space to be their negligent asshole selves. And plus, she doesn’t want to ruin that friendship with you so she looks for physical male attention elsewhere. If you look at this on the bright side, this means you have value to her and that is pretty damn important in a world where people are pretty replaceable. Especially with the presence of social media bridging the gaps between social circles everywhere.
How to Escape the Friend Zone:
1. Don’t be at her Beck and call
Now that you know you’re in the friend zone and want to escape it, you have to change how you interact with her. One way of doing this is to not be at her beck and call. You have to create a little bit of distance so that she gets a chance to miss you. You want to create more of a life for yourself outside of your friendship with her. One of the ways you can do this is to be busy. Keep yourself busy so that the next time she calls you to hang out you can say oh I’m sorry I already have plans. And plans that don’t include her.
Another way to not be at her beck and call is the next time she phones you to vent or just to chat, you need to end the conversation first. Just be like, “hey, I’ve gotta go, my friend just got here.” You need to assert some independence from her. And you don’t owe her an explanation. I’m not advocating for you to play games with her and or to make her jealous, I’m simply suggesting that you create more of a life for yourself without her.
By using these steps, she will be forced with a choice to make. If she wants you to be her friend, then she has to respect your boundaries. But, on the other hand, if she realizes through your distance that she wants to try to be with you romantically, then there you go! You’re one step closer to being a monogamist.
2. Don’t give her all of your time and attention
Another way to get out of the friend zone when you are face to face is to not devote all of your attention to her. Say you’re are a bar, party, or any social gathering for that matter where she is there and there is the potential to meet another hot girl. You greet her, but you don’t linger and hang out together all night. This way you show her that you’re still friends, but that you want to meet other women, well because, she isn’t dating you, so you might as well try and find someone who will!
If you’ve tried my tips previously mentioned, and haven’t left the friend zone yet, one final piece of advice for graduating out of the friend zone is to actually go on dates with other women. Increase your dating value. That is to be seen as datable. We have a tendency to be pretty fickle dating nowadays. So the more other women date you or want to date you, chances are your friend will catch the bug too and want to date you.