5 Secret Psychological Ways To Tell A Girl Is Into You

Have you ever noticed a chick staring at you and wondered what she was thinking? Does she think you’re cute? Has she spotted some leftover lettuce in your teeth from lunch? If your fly is down? Trying to tell if a woman likes you by looking at her is like trying to teach your cat a backflip. Pretty unrealistic.

Women have mastered the art of mixed signals and playing hard to get. So trying to tell if a woman likes you just at a glance is a pretty difficult, if not impossible, feat. Women will, however, send subtle signs that indicate that they’re interested in you with more than just a look. And that is what this article is all about: The subtle physiological signs that let you know what a woman is thinking about you.

If you haven’t got a clue, relax because women have been encouraged to be coy and play hard to get for centuries with the notion that romantic uncertainty increases attraction, and it does. But don’t remain uncertain.

There are signs that give a clear indication of interest because today body language is a topic widely observed and studied. In fact, we’re now able to interpret slight changes in a woman’s body that can reveal her true feelings and motivations. Unlocking the mystery of a woman’s attraction can be as simple as looking for these 5 physiological indicators of interest.

1. Her pupils dilate when she speaks to you

You know the saying that “the eyes are the window to the soul.” I think it should be, “the eyes are the window to the libido.

I once thought that this was a fallacy, a myth circulated by one of the original pick up artists, but, upon looking more deeply into the topic, I was pleasantly surprised that there is considerable research that supports the idea that there is a biological response to attraction.

The studies found that our pupils dilate up to three times the regular size when we see something stimulating, exciting or interesting in order to take in more of the pleasing surrounding. This is a sure sign that you’ve made her want you.

In fact, women in 16th century Italy would take this medicine named “belladonna,” which would keep their pupils dilated because dilated pupils were seen as more attractive and seductive.

It follows, then, that when you want to tell if a woman likes you, see if her pupils are dilated when she’s talking to you. It’s also important to note here that if you’re in a dark room, her pupils will enlarge as a simple fact that there is not enough light in the room. So try to see it in different lighting.

2. Her feet are crossed

One of the physiological ways to tell that a woman is interested in you, not that she wants to marry and have children with you, but that she’s interested in at least talking to you, if she is standing facing you and her feet are crossed.

When someone is uncomfortable their feet generally don’t point towards the person with whom they’re speaking. Their feet tend to point away, and only their torso is facing their conversation partner. Subconsciously, their feet are preparing for them to exit the conversation. However, on the flip side of this, when someone’s feet are pointed towards you, that means that they are engaged in the conversation and are in no rush to get away. Thus, she may be into you.

And an even better sign is when a woman’s feet are crossed. When her feet are crossed, it’s much harder to make a quick getaway. This is a sign that a woman is essentially planting herself in this spot and is engaged in her conversation with you, which is a great sign.

So look at her feet, are they pointed towards you, or are they crossed? If so, take note that this is a subconscious response that she is interested in you and this interaction.

3. She looks at you when she laughs

One of the very absurd psychological and biological ways to tell that a woman is interested in you is if she looks at you when she laughs.

When you’re in a group setting, and someone says something funny or tells a joke that elicits some laughter and a woman looks at you, she is looking for your reaction to see if you thought that it was funny too. She’s making subconscious observations and wants to know what you think is funny because she is thinking long-term if you have a similar sense of humour, which will let her know how you could potentially function as a pair. If she keeps looking at you for your reactions, that is one way to tell that she’s interested.

But one caution would be to not stare at her and wait for her reaction. She might wonder why you’re looking at her and then your encounter could get a little awkward. In your quest for signs of interest, you do have to practice the art of subtlety.

4. She contacts you first

This next sign that I want to touch on is not so physiological, but an obvious one and that is if a woman contacts you first. If she reaches out via text, Facebook, Instagram DMs, phone, email — whatever messaging service you use — this is a pretty good indication that this woman is a) thinking about you and b) wants to connect!

Not all women sit back and wait to be pursued. Some women take initiative and go after what they want. So if a woman is the first one to reach out, then she’s trying to make a connection. If she constantly reaches out first, then that could be a pretty good indication that she has positive feelings towards you, or is at least trying to get to know you better so that she can determine the degree to which she likes you.

And a subcategory of this one is that if she asks you to hang out. This one is a pretty obvious indicator and one that some men are lucky enough to receive. If a woman asks you to meet up, she wants to see you and see where things go!

5. She asks personal questions

When we are just getting to know people, we start by asking simple questions, questions that are easy to answer and keep the conversation light, fun and flirty. But, as things progress, and people try to make a connection with you, they start to dig deeper and ask more personal questions. The intention behind it is to hear stories about your life and try to get a sense of what your life genuinely looks like. And, subconsciously, a woman is trying to imagine herself in your life.

The main reason why people ask personal questions is to not only get to know someone but to also make a connection. We’re always trying to connect with people, and if you and a woman are spending time together, and she’s asking you personal questions, then she could be trying to get to know you on a deeper level and trying to make connections between your lives.

To remember what we have learned here, begin by imagining a scenario in which a beautiful woman stands before you.  Look into her eyes:  are they dilated?  Now observe her feet and how she is standing.  When the conversation begins and you tell a joke, does she look at you when she laughs?  After you part ways, does she contact you first?  And if she does, does she ask personal questions?

A woman’s body is a book that, for an attentive reader, offers the keys to the mystery of attraction and the pleasures that accompanies it.


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    • Hey Paul! Ask questions! Try and ask her about her interests outside of dancing. This way you can catch her attention and you’ll stand out from the rest of the men who just compliments her beauty. Make her feel that you’re interested, not just because she’s beautiful, but for who she is. Also, have you worked on your dancing skills? 😉

      • oh, yes. I am constantly working on dancing and make sure that she notices, however, only when she is doing a private lesson with another student.

  • Thank you Kate so you saying pay attention to different reactions that I get the next time I see her but I don’t want to look like a creep cool she’s a wonderful girl I would like to ask her out so what’s a polite way to ask her out without being a creep

    • Just keep it real and be confident Daryl. If she’s into you, you won’t even have to pay close attention since you’ll just notice these signs naturally! Good luck! 🙂

  • hi kate,im having physio on my back at present and my female therapist keeps on looking at my croutch,what does this mean? is she flirting or attracted to me.should I say that I like her first or ask if she likes me.

  • what can i do if i repeatedly fail to tell the girl i love because its not clear if she loves me or not. i’ve gone through many indicators but still am not sure. please help me out.

    • Not being sure whether she likes you or not won’t stop you from making your move. You either tell her, or you don’t. Sure, the positive signs will give you the hint that she’s into you, but in the end, it’s all about taking action. You just have to man up and go for it. Good luck Fanuel!

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