There’s a ‘disease’ that has plagued the dating world for years! And that ‘disease’ is the female love for the bad boy. I want to let you in on a huge secret. The secret that I am about to reveal is why girls love bad boys. To get started, bad boys are a challenge for us. As girls, I think, whether we want to admit it or not, we like to nurture people and see them grow. That is a major reason why women lean towards the bad boy persona.
Ok, some people think women are attracted to the bad boy because we have daddy issues. And while that is a thing, without getting too heavy, a lot of women, if they have poor relationships with their fathers, always seek that kind of negligent love in their boyfriends. And that is one reason why women go for the bad boy.
Sometimes, however, it has absolutely nothing to do with someone’s father. Sometimes women go after the unattainable bad boy because they want to be the reason that he changes or like I mentioned earlier, they are nurturers and they want to, in a sense, save a bad boy from himself.
But people don’t change unless THEY want to or the incentive is big enough. The bad boy is also the face of a person who would rather not commit to a relationship. So there are many types of bad boys and girls also respond to them differently.
Reason #1: He holds the power.
The bad boys usually hold the power because they tend to care the least. And it’s in the sense that they are so detached from their feelings that they can take a girl or leave her. And for a girl, this means he holds the power in the relationship, which causes her to chase him. That is a strong imbalance of power.
The woman who is secure in herself won’t really deal with the bad boy. Some relationships, especially those based on power, have turned into a nasty game of who can care the least. It is an act of self-preservation, one that does not bode well for a lasting or loving relationship. This is so because the focus of the relationship is on who holds the power and it is not on respecting one another.
Reason #2: Women are socially constructed to want to “fix” a man.
The bad boy trend is also a cultural phenomenon that the movies and popular culture have enforced and, in the process, taught girls to have unrealistic expectations about relationships. It also encourages the dangerous thought that you should get into a relationship to change the person.
Change can happen, but the best piece of advice I have ever gotten was to never get into a relationship with someone for its potential. If you do, you will find yourself let down because what you see is usually what you get.
Reason #3: Confidence is sexy.
If a woman is going after the bad boy, she is attracted to his confidence and is also looking for him to boost her self-confidence. Not always the best thing to do. Sometimes we can lack self-esteem; we’re extremely human that way. But the number one reason why we are attracted to the bad boy is that he gives off a feeling of confidence and power. Not like Harry Potter power, but power in the sense that he is confident enough in himself to not care what other people think about him.
Women are psychologically drawn to powerful men who know what they want. The alpha male. Confidence is generally connected to the alpha or he has a very good at faking his confidence.
Reason #4: Women are nurturers.
Alright, another thing to understand about the allure of the bad boy is that women are by nature nurturers. That is why when we meet a man who seems damaged, misunderstood or brooding, we want to help him. Even if it is just his way to get into our pants. This can be a psychological mind bender. We want to feel needed, and the bad boy is just the easiest form of that. He is the hurt puppy we want to cuddle.
We feel a need to fix the bad boy, or we want them to change for us. This is a highly romanticized vision of love that we have all strived for at some point in our lives. Something that girls don’t either know about themselves or want to own up to is the fact that some of us are afraid of intimacy.
The reasons as to why we are afraid of intimacy vary, but, usually, nice guys aren’t afraid of commitment; however, sometimes women are. If we are that type of woman, being with the bad boy is the easiest way to avoid our commitment issues. The bad boy doesn’t want to commit and, subconsciously, sometimes, neither do we.
Reason #5: Bad boy = Adventure.
The bad boy also gives off an adventurous vibe that is very appealing to girls. This presents itself in a way that shows that he doesn’t care what other people think about him, which, again, comes back to confidence. So if you take anything from this article, it is that women are attracted to the bad boy for his confidence and power in a situation. But beware: bad boys usually end up in bad relationships because, in the end, there are bad girls, too.