I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how a man can become INSTANTLY more attractive to women, and I think I’ve come up with just the thing! Actually, I’ve come up with three things!
If you want to become attractive to women, confidence is the first thing you should have in your arsenal. But there are a couple other qualities that I think get left behind in the search for confidence, but ones that I will dedicate some time to on this article.
Okay, so the first thing that you can do to become instantly more attractive is to be kind. You can consider this category to be chivalry or whatever you want. But basically, if you are kind and respectful among a sea of douchebags, you will become instantly more attractive to women. I know what you’re thinking—nice guys finish last. Not necessarily the case. If you show a genuine interest in a woman and are kind and offer to buy her a cup of coffee or a drink without having any expectations from her, you will find that you are instantly becoming more attractive to her.
Holding the door open for women falls under this category. I’d almost like to call kindness chivalry, but to me, this is just respect. If you are respectful, she will notice. Women are used to some men doing things only to expect something in return. Like being nice to someone is tit-for-tat. If you build a relationship on kindness, you will not only make yourself happy, but you will also have a happy girlfriend. Do kind acts. Actions speak louder than words. And if your words are kind, and your actions match, women will be drawn to you.
The second thing you can do to become instantly more attractive to women is to dress to impress. I’m not saying you have to have the nicest and most expensive clothes, but they should be clean and not wrinkled. Under the category of dressing well is personal hygiene. Clean yourself up! Women put so much effort into our appearance, and if you present yourself in a way that suggests you put some thought and/or effort into it, you will be more attractive to women. I guarantee it!
Okay, when I was 19, I dated this guy. He will remain nameless. We’d been together for about a month and hadn’t really been on a proper date. So he suggested we go to a movie, that he chose, that I wasn’t fond of, but went anyway. He showed up stoned, in flip flops and cargo shorts, in the middle of a southern British Columbia winter—not dressed for the cold.
As we go to get our tickets, he pays for himself and walks in, and I trail behind and pay for myself. Then he gets himself popcorn and lathers it in dill seasoning (I hate dill seasoning, which he knew). At that point, I should have had more balls than to put up with this, but, at the time, I was very young, and I didn’t really have a voice yet. Okay, so the date goes on, and we’re in the theater, and he smells like dill (peee yeeewww!), and he tried to kiss me. I was like no! I couldn’t do it. I have never felt more unwelcome on a date or like I didn’t really need to be there at all. Oh, and I forgot to mention, he invited his buddies along too!
Now I told you this as a kind of cautionary tale. You don’t want to make someone feel unwelcome or that you don’t care to be there at all. Your appearance says a lot about that. This story has my first and second point. Be kind, maybe hold the door open for her, or pay for her movie ticket, and maybe let her get the popcorn. Switch it up. And the second point is to put some effort into being there by dressing appropriately for it and/or showering. Dress like you’ve put some effort into it. Look good, smell good, and be kind.
Again, I’m not saying you have to have the nicest, most expensive clothes, but they should be clean and shouldn’t look like you just picked them up off the floor. Your appearance is all about presentation and making a good impression. You don’t go to a restaurant and have food just thrown on the plate. No, you go for good tasting, quality food that is presented in an appealing way. Same thing in dating.
Alright, now that we have kindness and dressing well under our belt, it’s time for your third piece of advice, which is don’t take yourself too seriously. That is not to say that you have to be a total buffoon or the class clown. But going with the flow and not taking yourself too seriously is such an attractive quality in a man.
I understand that egos are a large part of the male culture, but, for women, the ego isn’t as important as you’d think. Sometimes, overly inflated egos do the opposite of what they are intended to do. They are a turnoff! Part of not taking yourself too seriously is trying to suspend your expectations. Sometimes, when we are excited, we can make up these tall tales in our heads and expect events to go a certain way, and if our expectations aren’t met, we are left disappointed.
Being resilient and being able to laugh at situations and not get frustrated is a very attractive quality. Your ultimate goal here is to attract a girl, not to turn her away from you. And being able to laugh at the situation, and yourself is highly attractive. It also lightens the mood and makes your girl feel more comfortable around you. Not to mention that it sets you up for whatever happens, success or failure.