As opposed to a time when you could really only meet people face to face, through people you know, there are so many new, innovative ways to meet people. But, thanks to technology, the possibilities to meet people and find a date are pretty broad.
With the variety of ways to go about getting a date, it can be either a blessing or a curse. If you chose to look at it as something exciting, then that’s what it is. It can be super hard to think of THE PERFECT thing to say to make you irresistible, but at least you don’t have to have the nerves of being face to face.
What is the first thing people look at when someone adds them on Facebook? If you thought their profile pictures, you’re right. Having an up to date profile is really going to help your dating game. And it all starts with your profile pictures. This is where you can pretty much show off your best side and features. Are you outdoorsy? Artistic? Sporty? Whatever you are, you can incorporate these into your profile pictures, which helps us get to know you better.
It is also important to have some selfies, or pictures where you are the focus, and your face is visible. When you have multiple pictures of yourself and your friends, it is hard for girls to comb through your photos to try and figure out which one is you. This takes away the time we want to spend getting to know you through your profile.
So have an up to date profile. Get rid of old photos of yourself and your ex. Have some selfies and update the “about you” section. This lets people know what type of music, movies, and books you’re into. Don’t forget to mention your place of work and other things that tell us about you. These are all the details that we like to know ahead of getting to know you, and then you can describe it more in depth, in person, or on Facebook chat.
The best type of photo you could use is one that clearly shows your face, and maybe choose one out in a public setting—but definitely not one from your webcam of you sitting at your computer. Those are just awkward photos. Women want you to be not only social and active but also have a life that you can introduce them to. And not just mold into hers.
Alright, now onto the actual interaction. If you add someone out of the blue, I would guess that, usually, they would accept. Generally, it helps if your profile isn’t locked up like “Fort Knox,” as we want to see some pictures. This helps people feel relieved that they aren’t being “cat fished.” But if you already know the person, then, great, add them. Or if you have just briefly met, adding people on Facebook is a good first step as opposed to getting her phone number right off the bat. That can come later on.
Once you have been added back, it is time to make the first move or send the first message. I caution you against using the, “You are so beautiful,” or the messages that come across as you worshipping her before you even really know her.
As much as we want to hear that we are beautiful, we also want to work for it. By work for it, I mean we want to hear we are beautiful once you know us more than skin deep. We want you to understand our personality and find that attractive too.
So a good first message would require you to have looked at her profile and find something that she seems interested in, and then introduce yourself. Try to avoid the mundane questions about how her day is. Or the broad questions like, “What are your hobbies and interests?” Questions like that are so open-ended that it can kind of be a conversation deterrent. It’s not an interesting question, so you can’t expect an interesting response.
An example of a good opener would be acknowledging something that she is interested in. “I see you’re into _______,” and then insert something that you can decipher from her profile. Does she ski, horseback ride, read Daniel Steele novels religiously, drink Prosecco like it’s her day job? Either way, you can find something that she does, and start a dialogue with that. To follow, say something kind of cheeky.
For example, say she drinks Prosecco, and you say, “I see Prosecco is your poison of choice. You must be the one responsible for the Prosecco drought.” Something like that. You find something from her profile and then kind of exaggerate it to spark some conversation. You could then go on to say something about her depleting the Prosecco resources some more this weekend. You’re really just trying to break the ice and spark some conversation. And maybe even plan to meet up.
So, once you’ve gotten to know her a bit more, it’s time to ask her to hang out. Or transition to texting. Asking someone to hang out can be pretty daunting. But it becomes less so if you give it some thought ahead of time. Try to come up with an activity, time of day, and possibly day of the week ahead of time.
Make sure you are flexible with the date to accommodate her schedule. But be decisive and have a plan, and don’t be hurt if she suggests something else! Once you come up with a time and place, you can send her your phone number and say, “Here is my phone number in case you get lost on the way or need some tips beforehand.” She will most likely text you her number so that you can have it!