How To Go In For The Kiss

How to tell if a woman likes you and wants to be kissed is not so much what she says, but how she says it (i.e. what her body is communicating). However, if she says, “don’t kiss me,” then don’t kiss her. That’s practically the definition of coming on too strong.

But if you and a special someone are getting a little bit more comfortable with one another, and you are wondering how to proceed, there are some very telling signs that you should kiss her. And they are as follows.

1. When She’s Leaning Into You

Our first telling sign is if she is leaning into you. We want to be close to the people that we like. This is a sign a woman wants you. When we see something or someone that we like, we want to be near them. It’s quite simple. And conversely, if we don’t like you, then we want to put space between us and leave as soon as the opportunity arises.

When you’re trying to tell if a woman is jonesing for you to kiss her, the first thing that you should pay attention to is how close she is trying to get to you. Because if she has moved close to you, then she could be trying to touch you, which is a clear sign that she wants to be more than just friends.

2. If She Touches You

If a woman touches you either playfully or seriously, that is a good sign. Any physical body contact is great here. Has she playfully tickled you? Or jokingly shoved you? Has she made different attempts to get your attention? Has she brushed something off of your sleeve?

If she has done any of these things, then she is flirting with you, which could lead to kissing. She is breaking the touch barrier, which you should also be doing too. If you want to test the waters, and be certain that your kiss won’t be rejected, then you should see how she reacts to your touch. Now another sign to look out for is if a girl is looking at your lips.

3. She’s Looking At Your Lips/ Lip Licking

The third sign to look for when you’re trying to decipher if a girl is willing and ready for your kiss is to observe her lips. Is she licking them, biting them, or playing with them?

These are seduction techniques that are an involuntary reflex to our feelings of desire for you and what we’re thinking about. She could be licking, biting or playing with her lips and making eye contact with you is a sign that she wants to be kissed. So pay attention to her body language, specifically her lips.

4. Listen

The fourth and final sign that you should look for before going in for the kiss is not so much of a visual sign, but a verbal one. Pay attention on the date, don’t focus all of your attention on looking for these signs. If you focus on the conversation and enjoying yourself, these things will flow and you will be able to tell her level of interest in you through conversation as well as her body language.

So remember, when you’re trying to see if a woman wants to be kissed, pay attention to if she is leaning into you, begins touching you, or is biting licking her lips or looking at your lips. While being observant of these indicators, don’t forget to pay full attention to the conversation and the date itself. In short, engage and enjoy!


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  • Good morning Kate. I really like your advice site.

    I would like to hear more about older men dating younger women.

    From what I have read online.

    The relationship aspect is like any other, but it would be nice to have a road map on how not to fail??

    Some helpful suggestions on keeping the dating momentum moving forward??

    Thank you for your time.



    • Hey Alan! Age is a real deal-breaker for some women so it would be best to talk about that topic the soonest chance you get when dating someone. I’d hate for you to make so much time and emotional investment and find out at a later time that it won’t work out because of it. When that happens, don’t lose heart and carry on. There’s more than a million other women on this planet to choose from so sky’s your limit. This is why I suggest you ditch the idea of not failing, and expect failure and rejection from time to time. You probably didn’t expect that but I try to keep all my advice as real as possible. The last thing you’d want is to be so expectant only to get so discouraged when you crash and burn. You need to keep the optimism balanced and that’s how you keep the momentum alive ?

  • Hey Kate: I just saw your video, and I’ll use this information and try to put it into practice tomorrow. Getting rejected sucks big time, so I want to experiment the joy of succeeding. I think your video will help me lots to achive it.

    Wish me luck.

    – Gabe

    • Well I can’t promise you won’t get rejected again Gabe, but things will definitely be better for you moving forward now that you’ve learned something new. Just keep improving okay? Best of luck!

  • Hey Kate,

    I’ve been dating this shy gal for a few weeks and our last date went really well. She has become noticeably less shy around me than we was on our first date.

    At the end of the night, I felt like the moment was right to kiss her, but I asked first simply out of respect.

    She politely declined and we hugged instead, so it seemed to end on a more or less positive note, but I can’t help wonder if I left her feeling too awkward/uncomfortable to go out with me again.

    I don’t want her to think that I’m only attracted to her physically and am using her for gratification, which is untrue.

    That was this past week. Before I reach out to her again, what are your thoughts on how to proceed and the situation in general? Thanks!

    • It’s sweet that you asked. You did it out of respect, I get that, but it also broke the sexual tension that was building since your first date. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but keeping your momentum until you get that first kiss plays a key role. Try leaning in slowly into her next time. This pretty much counts as an “unspoken” permission. If she doesn’t pull away, that’s your signal to keep going! Good luck!

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