For the majority of my life, when I thought about teasing, I thought about playground bullying. “Ohhhhh snap, look at Kevin! He can’t even tie up his own shoelaces so he’s still wearing Velcro!” Or something silly like that. Or I would think about the times that boys would tease me in elementary school, which just meant that they liked me. But some of that teasing could be really hurtful.
That’s not the type of teasing that I want to touch on here. Teasing, when used correctly, can actually wield some positive responses in terms of dating and attraction.
Teasing is defined as, “to make fun of or attempt to provoke a person in a playful way.” That doesn’t sound so terrifying. I should also mention that bullying and teasing are two vastly different things and we won’t touch on bullying at all.
Ok, back to teasing. Teasing is one of the oldest forms of flirting that there is. Like I said, women are taught from a very young age that when boys tease them, it means that they really just like you. We’ve naturalized this behaviour as a method of courtship.
Teasing sparks a back and forth interaction between two people. It shows that you’re paying attention to more than just a woman’s looks because here you won’t be teasing a woman on her looks, but you will be noticing some of her quirks and mannerisms. Teasing is something that will help you set yourself apart from the pack. It is something that nice guys have a problem employing in attracting women. Kind of like my friend Dylan.
When I first started out in this field, I was helping my guy friend Dylan out at a bar who had just met a girl. I was sitting right behind them and could hear everything that they were saying. He wanted me to assess what he was doing wrong. Their conversation started with Dylan asking what the girl was doing there. She responded with a sarcastic remark saying, “I’m actually in the witness protection program just filming the pilot for my new reality show… see the cameras?” (she pointed to the bouncer) Dylan said, “Oh, no way! When is it supposed to air?” Face-palm.
He took this woman’s sarcasm literally, which did something unfavourable for him and placed him in the naïve, gullible, nice guy category. He didn’t flick the attraction switch at all but nailed the pity switch. The thing about women is that a little teasing can go a long way. It is a foolproof way to instigate some flirty banter.
In order for it to be playful and fun, you have to also tease yourself or make fun of yourself. This way you ensure that you a) don’t hurt her feelings and b) you give her the “ok” to dish it back to you.
Teasing also creates tension. And it sets you apart from the pack of nice guys out there who are too afraid to push a woman’s boundaries. This is also a good way for you to exude your masculine confidence, which allows a woman to tap into her feminine side and feel girly when she’s around you.
So how you go about teasing a woman to build attraction and not offend her is as follows:
1. Give her a silly nickname:
One of the simplest ways to tease a girl is to give her a nickname that pokes fun at one of her quirks.
Is she a petite girl? You could call her “smalls.” Does she snort when she laughs at one of your jokes? You could say, “Thanks, Miss Piggy, you make me feel as funny as Eddie Murphy.” But say it with a smile so that she knows you’re not calling her fat.
If she trips in front of you, you can catch her, bring her into an embrace and stroke her arm in a playful way and say, “aww there, there honey. Don’t worry, you didn’t embarrass yourself too much.” But say it in a sarcastic tone where you’re playfully babying her. This form of teasing is super easy and it’s easy to carry in your back pocket at any time, as is our next example, which is to mimic a girl.
2. Mimic Her:
For example, if a girl gets frustrated, put your hands on your hips and huff and puff. Mimic her frustration in an exaggerated way to lighten the mood and poke fun at her response. You will most definitely get her laughing at a response to that.
The whole point about teasing is to use it to keep the mood light and to create a rapport. A back and forth banter that allows you both to send and receive some teasing.
3. Make Fun Of Her:
Observe one of her quirks and then poke a little bit of fun at it. Is she kind of clumsy? If a girl spills her drink in front of you, you could say, “next time we go out I’ll be sure to bring one of my nephew’s sippy cups for you.” And throw her a little wink. You’re not saying, “OMG, Clutz!” You’re trying to also show her that you think her quirks are cute and sweet. That’s why it’s essential that teasing is playful and lighthearted and you have the right intentions going into a situation like this with a woman.
4. Exaggerate Your Gestures:
If you want to really poke fun at a girl, you can always exaggerate your shocked response to what she says. For example, when she says she’s a game of thrones fan, throw your hands over your mouth and say, “omg! I totally pegged you for a Real Housewives of Orange County type of girl. My apologies! You don’t look like a thronie!” Play on stereotypes about males and females. If she orders a beer, grab her arm and look at her with wide, shocked eyes and say, “I for sure thought you were a vodka cranberry kind of girl!”
Or you could exaggerate your response by asking her, “what kind of music do you like? If you say, ‘anything from the 90’s’ I might have to jump in front of a taxi.”
Exaggerations are great because if they are grand enough, then the girl with whom you’re speaking will know that it’s a joke and that you’re just having some fun.
For our fifth and final teasing method, I want to turn your attention to a nonverbal way to tease, which is tickling. Tickling is a great way to ramp up a woman’s attraction for you and also a great way to increase the sexual tension.
The tickling I’m talking about is not straight for the armpit tickle. That could really make a woman mad because if you’re flirting and you go for the armpit and she is sweating, she doesn’t want you to know that she is sweating. The places to tickle are right under the ribs on either side of her stomach. For example, if your girl teases you back with a pretty good imitation of you, you could gently poke her side and say, “you think you’re pretty funny, don’t you?”
This lets a woman know that you’re confident and comfortable with yourself and that you’re not afraid to touch her. It also instigates sexual tension. Importantly, it shows that you want and is capable of communicating with women when you’re flirting and teasing them.
Teasing is the oldest and most used form of flirting. It’s easy; it makes a girl feel giggly and giddy when she’s around you, so use it to your advantage. Just make sure that it’s not mean. And there you have 5 ways to playfully tease a woman to spark her interest.