Signs A Woman Wants To Be Approached

In this article, I want to give you the goods right away so that you can finally figure out when a girl wants to be approached. It’s rare that women approach men. What is not so rare are the signals that women send to men when they want to be approached, which is what we will look at now.

Men and women aren’t so different in their approach anxieties. Women fear rejection and coming off as desperate just as much as men do. But, here are 4 invitations that women send out when they want to be approached. I would highly recommend that you look for more than one of these invitations when trying to suss out whether or not you should approach a woman.

1. Wandering Eyes

The first invitation to look out for is the wandering eye. Is a woman scanning the room looking for eligible bachelors? Is she making direct eye contact with you? Has she gone so far as to check you out? All of these could be an indication that a woman is looking for someone to approach her. A woman checking you out is the most obvious invitation and could signal to you that you should strike up a conversation with her.

If she is scanning the room she could also be searching to see who looks available in preparation to lock down who she wants to send her subtle hints to. If you keep catching her looking at you, then that’s an even better sign.

2. Proximity

The second way to tell that a woman wants to be approached is if she gets close to you. If you have seen a woman make eye contact with you, and gone so far as to move into your line of vision, she is positioning herself in your vicinity and could be trying to capture your attention. She’s making it easy for you to approach her.

Another one under the proximity umbrella is if a girl gets close enough to bump into you. If she bumps into you this could be coincidence, but if she’s been making eye contact with you and exhibiting some of the other factors we will look at shortly, then she could be REALLY vying for your attention.

Remember, proximity is one of the pillars of attraction so if she spends enough time with you, chances are one or both of you is going to catch feelings.

3. Body Language

It’s no big secret that our bodies speak a different language than our mouths do. So it should come as no shock that a woman’s body can, non-verbally, reveal that she would, in fact, like to be approached!

Adjusting Herself

One of the biggest ways to tell if a woman wants to be approached is if she is adjusting her wardrobe or appearance. In birds, this is called preening. A bird straightens their feathers with their beak.

A human woman actually does the same, but without the beak. They tend to use their hands. So when a woman is re-tucking her shirt, straightening herself up, playing with her necklace, changing which shoulder her purse is on, etc. She could be sending the smoke signal that it’s safe to approach. There are many subtle grooming gestures that women do that can indicate that they are ready and willing to mingle.


Another thing to look for is whether a woman is a tad nervous or not. If a woman has exhibited invitation #1 (eye contact) coupled with touching her neck, then you could have a woman who wants to be approached. The neck is a sensitive area and a vulnerable one at that. When a woman touches her neck, she could be doing two things. The first is that she is drawing your attention to that area of her body. Making you watch where her hand goes. Secondly, it unconsciously suggests that a woman is nervous.

Former FBI Counterintelligence officer, Joe Navarro, contributed an article to and said that when we are under stress, that our bodies crave a certain hand to body contact in an attempt to soothe our negative limbic arousal (stress). And, let’s be honest, trying to find and seduce a partner can be quite stressful. In terms of whether or not a woman wants to be approached, when a woman is out and about, and touching her neck she is feeling nervous. And if she’s previously made eye contact with you, then this could quite possibly be a signal that she’s waiting for you to approach her.

Hair Touching

When a girl is feeling flirty and/or nervous, she will most likely play with her hair in some way. I notice that I do this to this day! I will put my hair in a ponytail without even knowing it when I’m in a conversation where I feel nervous. When I get out of the conversation I think, “why the heck did I put my hair up?” That was my body responding to my nerves. And it was also me, unconsciously, trying to distract the speaker. Hair flipping is also a subconscious way of releasing pheromones, which are key in attraction. If she does this, then you know she wants you.

And that, my friends, are a few ways to tell if a woman wants to be approached by you! Remember that you should look for more than one of these signals to make sure that your chances of rejection are limited, but that your chance of being received favorably are high.


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  • Dear Kate, lots of women touch their long hair in a subconscience manner so the skin of the neck is free to release its pheromones. Women also like to ( believe it or not ) check out men’s bottoms. A good trick is If I notice a woman I think might be checking me out, when I,m at the bar buying a drink I drop a coin or cigarette lighter on the floor then I bend down and slowly pick it up making sure I bend well showing my buttocks ( clothed of course ). If there is a mirror behind the bar I can see if they are looking. If they are I chat to her, not straight away though, to obvious.Caution: this move requires that 1 be suttle 2 make sure the bar is not so crowded that she can’t see you 3 do not let her see you intentionally drop the coin or lighter 4 If you are overweight, wearing baggy pants or both, forget it 5 do not under any circumstances turn around and stare, you can use the mirror if there is one or turn away from the bar quickly and check her out from the corner of your eye, it,s about,,,,,well being a little bit sneaky I guess? Any way it works, it,s just nature. Men check out women and women check out men. Women are better at hiding it though, social norms, must be a lady and all that. Hope ya like it Kate, Bob.

  • What r the chances that men not be cheated later or maybe she is doing just for fun. Actually i seen lot of time girls looking at me from distance laughing making eye contact and then i approached they behave like who are u

  • Hi
    I had taken your advice seriously and one day i saw two new girls in my area and i attracted to one of them so thought i should try as u suggested just give them a compliment and but here’s a twist that one whom i wanted to talk went forward and and one stoped there and looked at me and starting a conversation then her friend call her from some distance ‘come on’ then she went away but she regularly showing her interest in me. Should i go with her but don’t like her and doesn’t want to hurt. Any advice

  • Great piece of writing friend. I have met the girl of my dreams. she is fun, lively and most importantly has a superb dressing sense. when we talk, she touches her hair a lot but she does not seem confused or anything when we talk. she goes out with me but it is not any sort date or something due to outdoor work, we go together two 2 to 3 times in a month. I have a question; can she really be into me? I am afraid to make a move what if I have been assuming it this whole time? Could you help me by sharing some advice? I do need it at this point.

    • The one advice I’ll be giving you is to get over your fears Robert. You’ve got enough positive signs from her for you to give it a go and make your move. Some men would rather play it safe but I can guarantee it’ll only make you regret not taking your chances.

  • Dear Kate, We men always talk about mixed and confusing signals women leave us. Women make eye contact, touch us, make a verbal commitment with a beautiful smile. Than poof blow us off and disappear. Happens a million times to most men. My female friends say women always change their minds and they also love to play head games with men. Kate any suggestion on how get a women to her follow thru with her commitment. Or is it something we have to accept?

    • You need to understand that you can’t generalize women based on the actions of a few. I can’t deny that there are many women out there who would just play games with men Franzy, but I have a lot of female friends who are pretty committed to their relationships as well. What I’m saying is that it will always come down to your decisions or how you handle the situation you’re in. Take a good look at a woman’s character first before getting yourself into a relationship so you won’t have to worry about her having commitment issues 😉

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