Game: what is it and how do you get it?
For a long time, even I thought that game was this thing that only certain men were born with, but in reality it’s just charisma.
Charisma is compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others. That sounds pretty sweet, doesn’t it?
Charisma, and/or Game, is actually not some innate feature that a select few are born with. It’s developed by practicing and acquiring new behavioral skills.
So what are these skills required to improve your Game or create it from scratch?
1. Take Initiative
Alright, so the first step in improving your game is to take initiative.
Initiative is the ability to assess and initiate things independently.
When you take initiative in your life this shows a woman that you’re self-assured and that you know what you want and go after it. You’re active in getting what you want because you aren’t afraid of what other people think about you. So, in a sense, this shows confidence.
So stop asking for a girl’s number. Stop asking her to dance. These kind of questions can turn a woman off, instantly.
Instead, pose it as a statement: “let me grab your number” or “let’s dance!”
Be confident in what you want and go after it. That’s a man that women want to be around.
Now, with this, it’s important to understand that while you should take initiative, you should NOT be pushy.
If a woman is apprehensive and her body language is indicating that she is uncomfortable, then do not push her as it’s a safe bet that she’s not into you.
Make it playful and fun but understand that no means no.
Consent is a huge topic right now and I want to make sure that you understand that when I say take initiative I don’t mean to ignore the non-verbal signals that women send when they’re uninterested.
There is another way to improve your game and that has to do with how you make connections with women and that is with your ability to keep the conversation going, which brings us to our second point.
2. “That reminds me of…”
There is a statement that draws connections between your life and your conversation partner’s and gives you a natural opportunity to share stories about your life.
If you’re chatting to a woman, and she says something that resonates with you, in return, you could say, “that reminds me of…” and insert something about your life.
You can tell a funny story that shows off some of your best qualities. Side note, everyone should have a story like this, one that subtly showcases your best qualities.
Like that one time you were on holiday and your brother lost his iPod and freaked out because he couldn’t go a two-hour car ride without tuning out your family so you graciously gave him yours.
It shows that you’re caring and giving for the ones you hold near and dear.
Stories like this allow people to get to know you faster, and encourage people to share more as well.
And creating connections and finding similarities between your life and a girl that you’re just getting to know is key in making her keen on getting to know you and spend more time with you. So master small talk if you want to improve your dating game, right now.
3. Posture and Body Language
One of the best ways to exude charisma is through your body language. The way that you carry yourself says a lot about a person.
Something that I was taught pretty early on was to act as if you belong in any room that you enter.
Even if you feel like a complete fish out of water flopping around hopelessly, FAKE IT!
The best things that you can do to fake it are to stand tall and take up space.
Make eye contact, smile, and open up your body towards whoever you’re talking to.
That is the posture of a guy with charisma and game, a guy who’s approachable and makes people feel comfortable when they’re around him.
And don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Mistakes humanize people, which makes them more likeable. Nobody wants to top toe around a perfect person.
That’s not a realistic way to live your life. And if you’re anxious, just know that that means that you’re spending too much time thinking about what will, might or could happen, when you should just focus on the moment.
Anxiety is overthinking the future, and wanting to know exactly how something will play out before you can even attempt to try, but that’s not how life works. So enjoy in the moment and try your best.
Fake it till you become it.
4. Sense of Humor
And last but not least, have a sense of humor. Don’t be afraid to laugh and make jokes. Laughter relaxes people, and when people feel relaxed around you they feel comfortable so they will want to spend more time with you.
Those are four behavioral skills that you can employ in your life to become the most charismatic version of yourself and immediately improve your game.