Have you ever been out at a bar or at a social gathering, and one girl totally captures your attention, but she is basically barricaded by a group of women? Don’t worry, at first this is intimidating, but I’ve got three steps for you to make approaching a group of women a lot less daunting.
2.) Schmooze up the crowd.
3.) Isolate the one you like.
For success, these three steps are necessary: one, approach the entire group. Two, schmooze up the crowd. And number three, isolate the one you like.
I should note that you must go this alone. If you approach a group of women with other dudes, it gets too complicated. And if you go it alone without your safety blanket of friends, you look more confident, which is more attractive.
Step 1: Approach the Group
Alright, so now you have to approach this group of women. You can approach them in a few ways. Basically, you have to do what you feel most comfortable and confident doing and what best suits your personality. The most obvious way to go about it is to just approach the women by saying hello, and asking them what they’re celebrating. This one is tough because it’s easy for them to shut you down.
If you really want their attention, go in with a joke, or a witty comment for your opening line. For example, you could say:
“Omg, you guys! This is so us; you all standing there talking about me, and me just standing here looking pretty.”
This should invite some banter from the more boisterous friends in the group. You want to invite some banter and some conversation. This also makes it look like you’re just here for a good time and not solely on a troll.
You might be wondering why I caution you against approaching one woman in a group. That is because if you approach one women who is clearly engaged in a group, you put the other women on the defensive side. And depending on how smooth you are, they will rip you apart or ignore you. So approach the group as a whole.
Ideally, this is better done at night. Approaching women in the daytime is a whole different story.
Step 2: Schmooze
For our second point, it is important to actually have a conversation and share a laugh with this group of women. It’s all about making a good first impression. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT make sexist, misogynist jokes to this group. This is the biggest piece of dating advice I can give men, as a woman. Basically, don’t offend them. If you approach them with a genuine interest, you will do well! But if you approach them in a sleazy way, I don’t doubt that someone will tell you off.
Your goal here is to make all the women feel at ease with you. Being goofy helps, and being able to laugh at yourself helps people feel at ease with you. Once you let your guard down, the women will also feel comfortable to do the same.
If you can get the group to like you, it will make your chances easier of talking to the one you like without getting cock blocked by the friends. Her friends will encourage her to talk to you.
Step 3: Isolate the One You Want
The third step is the money step. That is to isolate the one you want. This is also the trickiest. But, if you succeeded in completing the two previous steps, you have the perfect foundation to complete this one. It’s all about making her feel special.
You can start talking to the girl you like by complimenting her on something. Compliment her on something chosen, not on a genetic physical feature that she did not have control over. If you tell her she has nice eyes, that is lovely and a nice compliment, but it is also a go-to for men. The key is to be genuine and compliment something you like about her. If she’s funny, tell her.
I’ll never forget this quote from the Dead Poet’s Society when Robin Williams said,
“Avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys—to woo women—and in that endeavor, laziness will not do.”
I agree with this quote fully. Attractive women are told they are attractive. They hear, “Wow, you’re so pretty” often, especially at bars. If you want to set yourself apart, grab a thesaurus and learn some other adjectives.
Also, asking her interesting questions will invite conversation. This is when mastering small talk comes into play. A great compliment is telling a girl that you enjoy talking to her. Even if she is the hottest girl in the world and you tell her that you like talking to her, you will come across as someone interested in more than just her looks, even if you aren’t.
There you go, there are three steps to live, learn and memorize the next time you feel intimated by approaching a group of women. I wish you luck and congratulations in advance!